- September 26, 2014
- Posted by: admin
- Category: Autum Winter 2014 Newsletters
On the lighter side……….?
Quote from the Denver Post: “As with Alcohol, you are not allowed to ingest marijuana in the office. If you do, ensure you do not put anyone at risk.” Sound advice then.
According to (American) research you are less likely to be promoted if you have a beard or moustache. No mention of whether this is for men or women though. The research mentions a “facial hair ceiling”, distinctly disturbing eh?
Note for teacher!!
Female teachers in the Chinese province of Jiangsu have been told that they must get a note signed by their head teacher before they can become pregnant!
A supermarket worker from Somerset, who had used up her holiday entitlement, took a week’s sick leave, and then went to Magaluf on holiday. Staying at the same hotel was ….the Supermarket Manager!! The Return to work discussion would have been interesting.
A man, from Merthyr Tydfil, off sick from work due to stress, found himself in the news headlines recently for grappling with a shark to protect some children off the coast of Australia. He lost his job on return to the UK and presumably is now looking for work as a shark wrestler in his local village.
- If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
- If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
- Do TyphooTea employees take ‘coffee breaks’?
Thanks to Kate Russell of Russell Hr for these:
The Sales Manager, the HR Manager and the Company Director are on their way to lunch when they stumble upon a scruffy, but valuable looking brass container.
The Sales Manager picks it up and starts cleaning it with his handkerchief. Suddenly, a genie emerges out of a curtain of purple smoke. The genie (who suffers from claustrophobia) is grateful to be set free, and offers them each a wish.
Wide-eyed and ecstatic, the HR Manager says, “I want to be living on a beautiful beach in Jamaica with a yacht and enough money to make me happy for the rest of my life.”
Poof! She disappears.
The materialistic Sales Manager says, “I want to be happily married to a wealthy supermodel with penthouses in New York, Paris, and Hong Kong.”
Presto! He vanishes.
“And how about you?” asks the Genie, looking at the Company Director. The boss scowls and says, “I want both those idiots back in the office by 2pm.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss speak first, especially when it comes to taking time off!
The cheek of it!
Richard walked into his boss’s office and said “Sir, I know the economy is only just improving, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to ask for a pay rise.”
After a bit of haggling the boss finally agreed to a 5% rise, and Richard got up to leave. He was almost across the threshold when the boss asked “By the way Richard, which three companies are after you?”
“The electric company, water company, and the phone company,” Richard replied, and rushed back to his desk!
Thanks for reading …. The next update is April 2015. Merry Christmas!!
Best wishes, Derek