On the lighter side……….?

Selfie destruct!

A 23 year old man from Illinois was interviewed by an Hr Director for a job. She was impressed enough to later call him to offer the position. Soon after this she received two explicit photographs of a naked man with his face ( but nothing else) covered. She was clearly distressed by this. The next day the candidate rang to say he would accept the job; and the HR Director realised this was the same phone number responsible for the images she received. She called the police. The offender blamed this on a mix up over his phone numbers! I guess he is still seeking employment!!

Drug Policy

Quote from the Denver Post: “As with Alcohol, you are not allowed to ingest marijuana in the office. If you do, ensure you do not put anyone at risk.” Sound advice then.

Facial hair!

According to (American) research you are less likely to be promoted if you have a beard or moustache. No mention of whether this is for men or women though. The research mentions a “facial hair ceiling”, distinctly disturbing eh?

Note for teacher!!

Female teachers in the Chinese province of Jiangsu have been told that they must get a note signed by their head teacher before they can become pregnant!

Holiday hell.

A supermarket worker from Somerset, who had used up her holiday entitlement, took a week’s sick leave, and then went to Magaluf on holiday. Staying at the same hotel was… the Supermarket Manager!! The Return to work discussion would have been interesting.

A man, from Merthyr Tydfil, off sick from work due to stress, found himself in the news headlines recently for grappling with a shark to protect some children off the coast of Australia. He lost his job on return to the UK and presumably is now looking for work as a shark wrestler in his local village.

The cheek of it!

Richard walked into his boss’s office and said “Sir, I know the economy is only just improving, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to ask for a pay rise.”

After a bit of haggling the boss finally agreed to a 5% rise, and Richard got up to leave. He was almost across the threshold when the boss asked “By the way Richard, which three companies are after you?”

“The electric company, water company, and the phone company,” Richard replied, and rushed back to his desk!

Career one liners

• I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
• I’m aspirin’ to be a chemist.
• I applied for a job in Australia, but seems I don’t have the right koalifications.
• I think my job interview to be a bug sorter went well. I boxed all the right ticks.
• I’m willing to work longer hours at work. As long as they’re lunch hours.

Thanks for reading …. The next update is planned for Spring 2016

Best wishes, Derek
www.eltraining.co.uk
01789 470700